Harry, after a series of experiences, from Luguna Beach--where Joe and Paul hung out, partying up a storm, in a motel that war protesters had taken over and wound up sentenced along with the protesters to painting the City Jail!--to San Diego--where Paul and Joe worked two months as part of the crew on a fishing trawler--Joe and Pauly found themselves in Indigo, California!

"Who in the hell named this place Indigo, California? It sounds so cool but hell, it must be two-hundred degrees in the shade!" Pauly yelled to Joe--whom was ten feet ahead and advancing. "Hey, Joe! Slow the hell up! I don't know how you do it, but I can't keep pace!"

Joe slowed and then stopped and sat on the road waiting for Pauly to catch up.

"You know Pauly, we've been in this damn desert walking and waiting for a ride for 27 hours?"

"You don't have to remind me! Why the hell don't we catch a ride at that train depot back down the road. Must be one train that is going east?" Pauly said as he plopped on the ground like a sack of potatoes.

"OK!" Joe said. "We'll go back!"

Laid out on the desert floor, the train yard loomed large, with tracks running east and west and north and south, it was a spaghetti bowl of steel and train...

Pauly and Joe had scouted the place but were at odds as to which one and how to. Joe came up with an idea to check the town for a hobo whom would surely be there...

"Hey. You. My name is Mike and I'm heading to NY by way of New Orleans with my buddy here." Joe informed a group of what seemed like seasoned Hobos. "Listen, we were wondering the best way to hop a freight? I figured a group of educated road warriors such as you guys would teach two apprentices such as we?"

The shabby group of bums seemed to lift themselves up at the complement that Joe had just bestowed upon them. With pride in their eyes, they looked at one another until one of the group took it on his own to be the main spokes person: "Sonny, first may I ask where you got that "San Diego City Jail" tee shirt your wearing?"

"Hey man, me and my side kick have been living on the road for months... had to get some grub and a nice bed to sleep in, we checked into what we thought was a hotel... part of the wardrobe.. if you know what I mean!'

"Well, if you'll part with that there tee shirt, I might be able to assist you young grasshoppers on your journey."

"No problem!"

"Well, the most important thing is water..."

Joe and Pauly entered the railway yard. They had a jug of water and were concentrating on a train moving towards the east just as the old geyser said to do.

"Paul, lets go..."

Pauly and Joe began to jog in pace with the box car they had chosen...

The train picks up speed...

Joe and Pauly pick up speed...

Running along the box car... it's door wide open... beckoning them to throw there bags in...

Joe heaves his gym bag...

The train continues to pick up speed...

Pauly heaves his duffel in...

Joe grabs ahold of the door and pulls himself up...

Pauly is right behind Joe...

He's almost up...

His feet are dragging...

The train picks up more steam and begins to lurch on the tracks...

Joe pulls Pauly in....

"Hey man! Where on our way!"

"Yea..."

"RIDE BABY RIDE!!!" Joe yelled as he walked over to the open steel door. "Hey, Pauly, look, it's the old bums we talked to..."

Pauly got up to walk towards the door as Joe was in the process of putting his head through the door to wave to the old guys who were frantically waving and jumping up and down when: BANG! Joe was lifted up into the air just as the steel door slid with a bang, crashing closed, barely missing his nose by a hairs width... ZOOM! Joe flew, in sitting position, legs straight out... two feet off the ground... WHAM!... like a cartoon creature into the back side wall: BOOM! Joe, trying to gather his senses and lift himself up and: BAM!...in the opposite direction...WHHEEEE...in rhythm to the trains motion as it now reverses direction: BOOM!... into the opposite wall on his belly: BOOM! Joe grabs ahold of the steel door opposite from the one originally open: JUMP! PAULY! JUMP!... they jump off the train and land on there faces in the hard gravel of the track side... on the opposite side they had originally entered....

Gathering themselves off the ground, Pauly and Joe walk, bent over from the wallops they received in their "train ride" to nowhere, away from the yard and it's confused trains.

"Hey man! What the %^%$ happened!?" Pauly asked.

"I don't know, but hell, I almost had my head guillotined right off by a damn box car door!

"Look!..." Pauly shouts....

Joe and Pauly watch as the train moves back and forth as it connects empty cars with loud, crashing, booms!"

Sitting--or rather lying in semi-agony--on their packs, Joe and Pauly swore they would never, ever, attempt to ride another "Damn Train"!...

"Hey, Pauly. We did just like they said! We got an old Clorox bottle and filled it up with water; then we watched for a train that was moving in an easterly direction; then we paced our selves and jumped in..."

"Yea, but them there bums where just that, BUMS! They didn't tell us to wait and see if the movement was to connect the damn cars!"

"Well, what do we do now?" Joe asked Pauly as he stretched his bruised and sore body in effort to assure his mind nothing was broken.

"That's your job man! I only know how to steal cars!"

"Hey, I got an idea! You still got that tape recorder? The one I saw when your stuff was... um.. You know, the one that don't work?"

"Yea, I got it. But no ones gonna buy it! Heck, the only people we saw alive and kicking in this forsaken place were the train engineers and them there hobo-bums who stood upon the road and watched us make asses out of our selves!"

"Give it to me.. come on! If I can get us a ride out of here... Cool Water! Food! Hamburgers and fries! Shakes! A ride out of this damn desert! GIVE THE $%$#@#$ THING TO ME!"

Darkness crept the land and a creasent of light in a sea of crystal black cast a gentle glow upon the road. The temperature had dropped drastically and Joe was deep in thought of his friend Nihanio and the painted lands; a beautiful place when one had people like the Dinè whom added warmth and civilization to the landscape...

"Hey, Pauly... Pauly... wake up! Is that a car I hear? Can't see no headlights... just the sound which is traveling along with the desert air... you hear it? PAULY!?"

"I don't hear nothing, man! Must be that Navaho training or something. I'm going back to sleep!"

"Pauly, wake up... get your stuff. You gotta be ready... a cars coming down the road... real fast! Pauly... PAULY!"

"Listen, ain't no..."

"Pauly, if a car comes around that there bend..." Joe said, pointing to the wide sweeping turn in the highway, "and your not ready, with all your damn stuff in your duffel and closed up tighter than that damn squirrels ass that cop told you about, I'm gonna leave your dumb ass!"

The lights, on bright setting, cast there beams two hundred feet in front of the car as it barreled down the silent and ghostly road....

"Get ready Pauly. I'll stop him and, as soon as I begin to talk to him... Do you hear me? As soon as I begin to talk to him through the drivers window, you.... You listening Pauly?... you open the back door and jump in! Remember, you gotta jump in as I'm doing the talking! And, don't let him see you coming up or it will blow the whole thing! Got that?"

"Yea man, but I think your nuts! Here! You want to do that here! In a damn $%^&^%$$# desert? Dressed like we are! Being easily recognized for who we are? YOUR %$%^%$# CRAZY! That's all I got to say... CRAZY..."

"Hey, Pauly, repeat the plan!"

Pauly repeated the plan just as Joe had laid it out...

Sleek and jet black, it rumbled down the road, four miles, two miles, one mile--ZAP! Joe was in the middle of the road jumping frantically up and down with the car barreling directly towards him... SCREEEEEECCCCHHHHH!!!" By the breath of a prayer the Oldsmobile skidded to a halt not more than two feet from Joe...

....who immediately rounded the car to the drivers window! "Hey, how you doing! My name is Mike Clark JR. and I'm reporting for the Los Angeles Free Press.." He cried through the closed window at the driver who seemed to be in shock... "Open the window, I'm doing an expose on hitchhiking from LA to the Mardi Gra! SEE! LOOK, THIS IS MY PRESS CREDENTIALS. WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE ARE YOU HEADING TO?" Joe screamed as he displayed his Free Press ID in one hand and the broken tape recorder in the other. "I would like to ask you a few questions.."

Pauly had come upon the rear passenger door just as Joe began his "idiotic" plan and was surprised to find both the door and his courage was open! He had had enough of sitting in a desert for 35 hours! He opened the back door and sat down before the freaked out driver even had time to catch his breath!

"Well, you young men really gave my heart a run for the money!" The salesman stated as he cruised down the road. "Aren't you fellows kind of young to be working for a news paper? What did you say the name was?"

"LA Free Press. And we are just doing this for our school project. We have a special pass for one month and our article is going to appear in the Los Angeles Free Press! In fact, you are the fifth and last person whom will be featured on the east trip! With you going all the way into New Orleans, we, my partner and I, will feature not only your views on the revolution and the art of hitchhiking, but also your company and its products! To start your interview, what is your name, address and age?" Joe said as he held the dead recorders microphone directly into Jose's mouth....

Harry, all the way to New Orleans, Joe interviewed "Jose"--patiently "recording" every word. Even when the guy began to talk non-stop, Joe held that mike--regardless of Paul's snoring nor his own fatigue. In between his encouragement and "WOW! your cool", Joe slipped in that they, his older cousin--whom was really watching over him for his mother-- and he, had agreed to take the assignment only if they could travel with no money nor supplies-- "Just like the real hikers; depending on the Christian Goodwill of those whom assisted them! And, upon arriving in the center of New Orleans, Joe thanked Jose for "adding his strong and educated common sense to the problems of youth, the damn anti-war movement, the ridiculous hippie movement!", and asked him again for his address so he could send him: "Several dozen copies so you can give them to your girlfriend and other friends"

Jose then promptly reached into his pocket and gave Joe two crisp and welcome twenty dollar bills!

After Joe handed Pauly one of the twenty dollar bills and the tape recorder, they both smiled widely and "High Fived" in the middle of the street...

"Damn, Joe! Your a natural! That's what you are... A NATUUUURAAAL! No ones gonna believe me! No one! I would never had thought of it, let alone did it--and pulled it off!"

"Pauly, I was...we were desperate and desperate people do desperate things! That's what that Air force sergeant told me. He said that when pressed by circumstance, the mind can accomplish anything... but he also said that "anything" is only limited by the tools at ones disposal! Our tools were the tape recorder, the ID card, and the salesman in his bigotry, hate, and greed! What we did was not right by the sarge's standards, but what alternative did we have? He said all people are basically good! Well, that is something I do not wholly agree on, but maybe... that is why I have second thoughts of that revenge stuff! I want to just return and get a job.."

"A JOB! YOU! You gotta be kidding. Didn't you just see the magic you created? I bet we can make some real bucks!"

"Pauly, I do not want to! I can be a man of respect using my brains rather then a gun!"

"That's what I'm talking about! You and I, in business! We can run a legitimate racket and still be cool! Our own brand of Wiseguy. You know what I mean? All business men gota have a sidekick that sort of keeps things right! I can be your Under Boss.. except were gona be a legit concern! Doesn't Gambino own a whole bunch of legit companies?"

"Well, Pauly, I except your offer. And speaking as the president of our new partnership, we gotta come up with a business plan!! You are now my one and only Vice Press! Now, lets go and check out the city and then get our butts back to the REAL CITY!"

On the tail end of the Mardi Gra, Joe and Pauly are treated to the time of their lives...

"Check her out", Joe said, placing a dollar bill in the woman's garter, "isn't she hot!"

"Can you believe we're in a strip club?" Pauly added over the wild and drunk cheering bouncing off mirrors draping the walls in reflections of exploitation; both on the part of the men--whom juggeled for position to place cash in the garters of the numerous woman--and the very women--whom juggled for position to encourage them.

"You better not say that to loud, someone is liable to hear you!"

"Well, you just about got saw all you wanted to see... Indians; The Golden Gate bridge; Alligators... did you get to see the alligators?" Pauly asked, cutting short his run down of Joe's tales.."

"No, but I was in several swamps!"

"Well, we gotta go and see some gaiters!"

"Yea, on the way back!"

"Yea! BACK TO THE CITY!"

Harry, New Orleans was a party, party, party town this time of year: hawkers, standing outside the numerous night spots dotting the French Quarter like bumps on a log, literally snatched Joe and Pauly--along with several older gentlemen--off the street and jammed them into a crowd that swept them like coconuts in an ocean of sound to the stage--on which ten woman gyrated on top of its glossy walkway not two feet away!

Joe and Pauly soon forgot their discomforts and pains of the road sitting in the crowded strip bar as they groped and slipped dollar bills into garters. Soon, both were down to five bucks each--which wasn't lost on the massive bouncers whom kept a sharp eye on the patrons...

"I'm sorry, but you gentlemen will have to leave! We do not allow minors...."

Joe and Pauly began to complain...

"You find yourselves some more bread an' I'll see what I can do." The bouncer said as he hustled them to the door with a "Don't come back'!....

Joe and Pauly were not stupid, they knew the score!

"Ain't that a bunch of bull? ....Come back when... yet we don't..." Pauly exclaimed.

"Yea, they just want our money. Well, I think I had enough of that place anyway! Let's check out some of that gumbo stuff we heard about... I starving."

"But, we only got a ten between us."

"Don't worry, I'll figure something out..."

Joe and Pauly soon found themselves in a restaurant where the menu consisted of dishes more alien then the menu Joe had ordered from in Mississippi!

"CRAWFISH!" Joe exclaimed with a heavy accent on "YUCK"! "Do you suppose that Crawfish are those creatures that zip along in the dirty water of Central Park?"

"They look the same... look over there! What the hell!" Pauly shouted, loud enough to catch the attention of a demure waiter who made a point of appearing at their table as if he had floated upon a swift current..

"Gentlemeen, dos yorn appiteets desire ourn crawdaddy platter?" He asked as he pointed to the heaping, steaming platter which Pauly had alluded too: bright red creatures--their legs and feelers still attached!

"What did he say?" Pauly asked Joe, his face all sqwinched up as he intensely watched the folks--using their hands!--dig into the platter with relish...and a squishing, cracking, slurping sound.

"He asked if we wanted some of those little lobster looking things."

"They look like large, painted, cockroaches!" Pauly exclaimed--once more in a loud voice....

"Sirs, dis restauroont serves only da finist Cajun in dese Quaters.. an' has doon so for geenerations! Mabee you shood try anata place dat servs HAMBURGOR!"

"Listen, give us..." Joe began...

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT GUY EATING?" Pauly exclaimed as he jumped up from the table! Every--and I mean every--head turned and was stuck in frozen, time warped amazement at Pauly's rudeness...

"Sirs, I am goona hav..."

"Excuse me gentlemen, you seem to have a northern accent? NY?"

The table was soon heaped with platters: Oysters, Clams, Musssels- raw, fried and baked; Crawfish-steamed, baked, fried, cold, hot, and HOT!; Lobster-steamed, boiled, sautéed, cold, hot; Chicken-grilled, baked, fried, cold, hot, HOT!; Gumbo HOT!... a list of edible creatures astonishing Joe--he began "sampling" each one!

"So, how long has it been since you gentleman began your journey?" Asked Mr. DuPlaintis:a cultivated and distinguished gentleman whom turned out to own the very restaurant Joe and Pauly sat in, and whom had appeared at Joe and Pauly's table in the nick of time to both rescue and invite them to a feast!

"On and off for three years for me and one for Pauly." Joe answered as he reached for another serving of raw oysters with the best manors he could muster.

"Well, I have seen many vistitors enjoy our cuisine, but none with more relish... I do hope our meager fair will satisfy such a hearty appetite!"

"I never tasted stuff like this! It's great! I really like the hot stuff...." Joe said as he stuffed another servings of the Grilled Blacken Cajun Red Fish onto an already overflowing plate.

"So, are you to remain long in New Orleans?"

"Mike is gonna start a business and I'm gonna be his Und... his partner!" Pauly answered, correcting his slip as he toyed with his plate.

"A business? What type of concern are you interested in creating?"

"Well, I don't know, but I can do anything! Just gotta figure what's available. Heck, I have worked the trucker routes, fishing vessels, dairy business--where I actually herded the cattle! And many other things. I got plenty of experience! I began my journey when..."

Mr. DuPlantis, whom had sat all night with both an amused and attentive look upon his clean shaven face, took on a serious look and began to rub his prominent chin as he listened to Joe describe his thoughts.

"...and then we thought we could begin here and return to NY later to show everyone... ...and bring them back! You see..."

With a delicate hand that bore a large signet ring in 24KT gold, DuPlantis continued to rub his chin and listen until, suddenly, like a light bulb going off in a pitch black room, his face lit up in an enlightened way ... "Hold on, hold on! Perhaps I have the perfect opportunity you young fellows would be interested in!

Pauly and Joe lifted the carpet out onto the balcony...

"Hey, Pauly, this is our twelfth today!"

"Yea, that's... um, four hundred dollars so far this week!"

"But your not adding the three we got for each one from the Pelican Hotel!"

"Yea, that's..." Pauly began adding the carpets that they had yet to remove. "Um.. Wow! Another hundred and fifty!"

With all of this talk, I know you must be wondering what's going on.. Eh, Harry? Well, let me say, our young adventurers are in the dough and enjoying it! Mr. DuPlantis secured a contract between Joe and Pauly and a large commercial carpet installer. Joe and Pauly would remove old carpet from contracted sights such as hotels, motels, and other multi- roomed facilities and get an average of five dollars per room. The duo were also responsible for hauling the old carpet off... but they were already reaping the reward of Joe's ingenuity: he convinced another fellow he met, Jack Johnson, a black guy with a large truck, to join the team and then came up with the idea to clean and market the old carpet to other businesses for 20-50 dollars installed! It has been four weeks and Joe, for the first time of his life, was happy and saving money to return home. Both combined, Joe and Pauly had fourteen hundred dollars in a bank account Mr. DuPlantis set up for them. Joe had been talking non-stop about going home and convincing his family to move to New Orleans! Harry, let me return to the story because you have to hear what happens next!

"...AND IT WAS I WHOM ALLOWED YOU TO ENJOY YOUR INFAMY!"

As The Beast, his whole being imersed in defilement, roared in dripping rage, a hush descended the desecrated crimson cavern. Impaled upon his massive, slimy, spear-tipped tail, Snatching Souls, he whom was called the second Feranzi, fought a losing battle in his attempt to patronize his master...

"Sire! Sire! He shrieked between disgusting bursts of putrid slime belching from his innards... "Yes! Yes! You are always right! I WILL LISTEN! I WILL FOLLOW YOUR COMMAND..."

"AT LAST... DO WE SEE!?"

"OH! YES! MY BLEAK AND BLACK HEARTED MASTER! I SEE! I SEE!"

"SO! NOW THAT YOU HAVE SEEN..." WHAM!

As if a sweet and delectable object swirling with pleasure in ones mouth had instantly turned repulsive and revolting, Feranzi was spat off of The Beast's tail. As he sailed through the cavern howling with pain and the knowledge he was being processed alive, the flesh on his body began to sizzle; in bits and terrible pieces, strips of his melting flesh, rent in sheets of blinding pain, were gobbled by scores of chalk-white skulls. The more he screamed the more the skulls clammored to plant there mouths upon his being. Soon, hundreds of mouthing skulls, nimble sharks in a feeding frenzy of torture, gorged upon his very soul!

"STEP FORWARD CAPTAIN NICOLUS JOBULY!" The Beast commanded.

Captain Jobuly, terrified by the demonstation of The Beast's power and pleasure --a demonstration none of the condemed members of The Devils Brigade were imune from-- stepped up and bowed upon the living, skull full throne. Immediatly, writhing, fleshless mouths, caught up in the pain and suffering, contorted in their determination to feast upon his dead yet living flesh; razor sharp teeth and white-bony gums flashed in a cresendo of hunger as he lowered himself and planted a kiss upon The Beast's foul toe claws...

"ARISE! FOR YOU ARE TO LEAD THE BATTLE! GO AND BRING TO ME WHAT IS WRONGFULY MINE!"